Just the title hurts to type! LOL
I can't believe my oldest son turned 18! I'm not old enough to have an 18 year old! But alas, my son is now a legal adult and I can't deny the fact that I gave birth to him all those years ago... now if he would just grow up, we'd be all set! He's not a 'bad' kid, but just not a 'motivated' kid. If it's not related to music, he's not interested... he didn't finish school, he doesn't have a regular job (he books concerts and tours, which is fine, when it earns him cash... which isn't often enough to live on)... he just prefers to sleep all day and stay up all night. That last part sucks for me, cuz I work in the morning, so sleep is a bit essential for me!
Well, he's a LOT like his dad, so I guess I only have myself to blame! I picked him.. the dad I mean. Worst thing I ever did (but that's for another post!) Anyway... my baby is 18, an adult according to the state of MA, and I just have to hope and pray that he grows up someday to become a responsible adult... Anyone wanna put a wager on it?
Monday, August 1, 2011
Death sucks
My grandmother passed away just over a month ago and it seems that tings have just been going downhill. Before she went into the hospital, my days consisted of going to work all day, then going to her house and helping her with chores and getting ready for bed. Once she went into the hospital, I would go straight from work to the hospital for a bit. Now it's like I don't have a clue what to do with myself! I go to the cemetary sometimes, but it's such a one sided conversation that I just don't always see the point. I could talk to her just as easily from home!
I guess I feel lost... and a bit.. I dunno... depressed? I was her PCA, so I was making money. Then she went to the hospital and I lost that money. And I feel so selfish when I think that way! It makes me feel rotten to say I wish I still had that job. I do wish my grandmother was still here, and I wish she hadn't gotten sick. But in the back of my mind, I keep thinking... if she hasn't gotten sick and passed, I'd still have that job. See, I'm terrible!
But I can't help the truth. That loss of income hurts! I live paycheck to paycheck like many folks do, and it's been near impossible making up that loss! I need a job... another job! I dunno what I'm gonna do, but I gotta figure something out!
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